Fuzzy Balls!

For quite some time, Jaden was having some major behavioral meltdowns. With every meltdown or wrong decision, I would sit him on timeout and then follow with a consequence which caused tears most of the time and lots of mommy guilt. I hate being the bad cop. I became discouraged and was feeling really sad.  I was sad for whatever the underlying issue is that would cause such negative behavior, sad for Jaden, and the overwhelming feelings of failure came over me. After a chat with a trusted friend, I realized every child will act out their frustration when they don't know how to properly communicate it. It's "normal". Also, I was spending so much time focusing on the negative behavior and overlooking the positive things. After coming to this realization, the fuzzy ball jar began!

It started with an empty jar and each time I have noticed good behavior such as using his manners, cleaning up his toys, being friendly, being helpful.... anything worth rewarding, I put in a fuzzy ball or two. If he has had no time out for that day, he gets a handful. He gets so excited! When the fuzzy balls fill the jar all the way, he gets to pick a fun activity (or reward).


Objective: to encourage positive behavior.


Reward ideas:
* Stay up late
* Computer games
* Go to the zoo
* Buy a new toy
* Go to a movie
* Extra dessert
* Play with friends
* PS3 games 
* Fun crafty/artsy activity
                             etc...etc.. you get the idea.

Since we started this reward system.... Jaden has been much better! He goes on time out once or twice a week! HUGE improvement! There are some weeks he doesn't do any time out. I just wanted to share this with other mommies that may be having some trouble. Don't give up!

Upcoming Showerrrssssss?

Warning, Disclaimer, whatever else you want to call it: this blog is going to be a bitch blog.

My adopted mom & sisters have been planning such an amazing baby shower for us & mostly baby since January. (No, I'm not adopted. I was just born into the wrong family.) Invites went out. And all I am hearing is "Sorry... I can't come because....... <insert lame excuse here.> I am really so sad. I don't care about the gifts. I just want people to come celebrate with us especially with all the work that they have done to make it amazing for us. This baby was not supposed to be possible. I want to share our excitement with people! It's 2 hours, open house style, no games, and incredible food!
I haven't heard a single "See you Saturday" and that makes me really sad.

I have always been the friend to exhaust myself supporting my friends and events in their lives, shooting their lame weddings for free, hosting their parties, doing lots favors for them, attending everything that they invite me to..... and those same friends are loaded with excuses. You know what? I actually told people months ago the date and time. Sad. I think I need new friends.

I hope there aren't any showers at our baby shower..... <sigh>

There's one thing I'm learning.... excuses are like butt holes...everybody has one.

Blogging from the Bubbles

It's true. I'm blogging in my lavender oil infused bubble bath with the jets on. I've been desperate for relief that won't aggravate labor. And finally. I'm relaxing and will probably shrivel up.

I have been 1000% miserable since getting released to go home from the hospital as the sun came up this morning and Jaden came home from his weekend with dad promptly at 9am. Baby Ryker decided he wanted to party last night. We had to go to L&D. (I did get to listen to his gigantic hiccups for several hours. Adorable.) They were able to stop labor by giving me IV of Benadryl and the meds that I'm allergic to. It was the only option. Meds are not being continued at this point because of the severity of my reaction. I'm currently at a "good 3cm" since I was last checked, 70% effaced and baby is slightly lower than -1. And I also lost my mucus plug. Gross. Tmi? Probably.

Reality is setting in. I'm very nervous. Miserable. Im not ready to give birth yet! I want this delivery to be complication free and I want so much to have a well baby. I have myself quite freaked out with everything that could possibly go wrong (and did go wrong with past experience). People keep saying to be positive but I have no more positive left in me. I'm struggling. I cry, a lot actually. I am obeying those super strict bed rest for the sake of the best possible outcome. I can hardly walk as I need help to the bathroom. My legs are so weak and there's enormous pressure on my hips and cervix. And on weekends when I am by myself because Jason works & Jaden is gone-- I crawl. Totally sucks. I wish people who would help lived closer to me, even just for the weekend help or company.

Enough whining for tonight. I am so grateful I am in my home on bed rest and not confined to a hospital room. I am so blessed to have the skilled doctors that I do. I love Jason and everything he does for me and Jaden.

To my silent readers, take some time to yourself. Breathe. Relax. And shrivel up in a wonderful bubble bath.

Xoxo

Full Moon.

And I'm not talking about my full moon. :)

My whole life...well, since owning my camera I have struggled remembering the magic numbers for certain shots. I have tried to get a shot like this for a long time. For various reasons it just didn't work out before. I have tried. Failed. Tried again. Failed again. Frustrated and gave up. Failed.

 I don't want to brag, but I think I nailed it.

5-5-2012 Saratoga Springs, UT

Nikon D90
Manual
f11
1/800 Shutter speed
ISO Lo 1
No flash

Turning 5!

Happy Birthday Jaden!

 5 years ago? Already?

April 30, 2007 4:43pm 6lbs 8oz

I became a mommy because of this sweet boy of mine. He struggled at first by choking himself through the birth canal and then spent a week in the NICU. You'd never know it now. He makes me laugh daily and is so incredibly smart. I cannot imagine where my life would be if it weren't for him.

This giggle and smile is simply contagious. I love him. :)



Locked & Loaded!

As of yesterday, baby is locked and loaded.....I'm close to 3cm (he said more than 2.5cm but just under 3cm) and 70% effaced. Baby has also dropped to -1 station--I didn't realize how low he is until I found this picture. Yikes. If he scoots any lower .....he needs to just wait 5 more weeks!

 Hold on little baby!

It was an eventful appointment complete with an NST. And my rules are super strict now.

-I cannot use stairs. (Jaden's room is downstairs... maybe he can tuck me in bed instead?)
-No cleaning (Bleh! My house is looking like a crime scene!)
-No cooking unless less than 10mins (Who can cook something decent under 10mins?!)
-Minimum car rides (no more days/hours riding along with Jason while he works weekends)
-I cannot drive. (Kindof happy about this one. Utard drivers would put me into labor!)
-No spicy food and nothing with ginger-it can cause uterine irritability.
-If I get myself something to eat, I can stand for less than 10minutes.
-I can sit with my legs up or lay down.  My tailbone HURTS. Ouchies.

Short version- I can stand long enough to walk to the bathroom for a shower or to pee. Otherwise stay down for the next 5 weeks.

Anytime I stand up for any reason, Jaden says "Mommy, you're supposed to be on leg rest with your legs up!" LOL

The Dr did a test called a fetal-fibronectin (sp?). I tested negative which means I'm 90-something % likely to NOT go into labor within the next 2 weeks. Which is reassuring!


Someone asked me why bed rest is so hard. Well you see, I hate watching/vegging in front of the TV and movies. I feel like it wastes hours and time that I could be doing something better. I haven't watched much TV for almost 3 years.

What IS enough?

So much attention has surrounded the new baby on the way. Jaden has had awful naughty moments acting out. It's frustrating. With his 5th birthday around the corner, I want to show him some extra attention and make him feel special on his birthday. 5. Where have these 5 years gone? I remember a specific moment when I got Jaden home from the hospital. I sat rocking him and adoring my new little baby...."They say they grow so fast.... I have forever before he's 5 and going to kindergarten. What do they know?..."....and then I blinked.... Time flies.

Jaden's 5th birthday party is today! He told me all he wanted for his birthday was friends, cupcakes, and a bouncy house. I can manage that! So I thought. While  trying to make a desperate attempt while on bedrest has been really tricky. I set up a facebook event last week. Jason did the party shopping, birthday shopping, and extra little things shopping. I realize late last night, the facebook invites didn't send to anyone for whatever stupid reason, the weather is crappy, cute little invites were not made or delivered ....Fail.

My kitchen is a mess. My house is falling apart and dirty. I can't scrub the bathrooms or floors. Laundry is piling up. I can't really cook meals. My crockpot needs scrubbed because I ran out of liners. There's not a damn thing I can do about it. My "family" lives over an hour away so I can't beg them to come help me. Jason's family...well, don't get me started. I'm also not the type to ask for help either. It's Jason's finals week and also has his huge FAA Commercial Pilot exam. I'm sleep deprived. My tailbone, back, and hips feel so bruised and there's no relief- sitting hurts, laying hurts, walking hurts, heartburn is so bad I throw up if I lay down too soon. Ugh. I've cried almost daily this week. 
My stress and anxiety is sky high. {sigh}