Biting My Tongue

After having a really hard day/week, whatever the case... I snapped and I made my feelings known publicly. I don't understand the people who mock me, make rude and sarcastic comments, and think it's really funny. It's not only one person. It's a few. Where is the logic? It doesn't help my mood or make me laugh. I find it hurtful actually. Oh how I really want to turn super bitch on them. If I did flip the bitch switch- it hurts me. I don't like conflict although it's necessary sometimes. I am reminded of my ex-mom with such bitterness, so I bite my tongue. I don't want to be like her. Sure, we all need a bitch fit at times. What happened to the friend who truly listened? What happened to understanding or relating? Maybe I'm just old-school to think that type should still exist. There aren't many people that I confide things in anymore. There are certain people I vent to about certain things... some understand the kid-vents, love-vents, preggo-vents, tmi-vents, fashion-vents, labor-birth questions or anxieties, etc. I miss having a real best friend. The girl kind. And especially those who don't mock me through their not-so-funny-sarcasm or laugh during my meltdown. I listen to every one's petty stupid drama all the time. Can I have a shoulder once in a while? Is that too much to ask?

Upcoming Showerrrssssss?

Warning, Disclaimer, whatever else you want to call it: this blog is going to be a bitch blog.

My adopted mom & sisters have been planning such an amazing baby shower for us & mostly baby since January. (No, I'm not adopted. I was just born into the wrong family.) Invites went out. And all I am hearing is "Sorry... I can't come because....... <insert lame excuse here.> I am really so sad. I don't care about the gifts. I just want people to come celebrate with us especially with all the work that they have done to make it amazing for us. This baby was not supposed to be possible. I want to share our excitement with people! It's 2 hours, open house style, no games, and incredible food!
I haven't heard a single "See you Saturday" and that makes me really sad.

I have always been the friend to exhaust myself supporting my friends and events in their lives, shooting their lame weddings for free, hosting their parties, doing lots favors for them, attending everything that they invite me to..... and those same friends are loaded with excuses. You know what? I actually told people months ago the date and time. Sad. I think I need new friends.

I hope there aren't any showers at our baby shower..... <sigh>

There's one thing I'm learning.... excuses are like butt holes...everybody has one.

That Awkward Moment....

...when you follow up with the "on-call" doctor because your regular doctor is unavailable.....

You prepare for an exam, change from the waist down, and drape the sheet to cover your va-jay-jay and thighs. Then you partially tuck it behind your butt to minimize the slight breeze you feel from the air vent. While you sit there and patiently wait, your butt becomes really sweaty while sticking to the paper on the patient table.

"Do you mind if the doctor has a couple medical students with him?" asks the nice British nurse. "Ummm, ok..." .................in come walking 5 students. Yes. FIVE. "I'm sorry. Actually, I do mind and I'm not comfortable." They leave. Whew! My vag is not a freak show or a peep show for any kind of medical student circus!

The doctor comes into the room and instructs you to move down toward the end of the table. "Ugh he has to be the one to examine me?" He's like OLD-MAN status. Not kidding. You re-adjust your body while taking the sweaty paper with you-which the dr removes....

Exam begins. "Do you know what happened on April 30th 19-FOURTY-something?" "No I sure don't." breathe..... breathe....ouch....breathe.... "Hitler committed suicide." "oh....okay?".... Then doctor went on and on and on about Hitler and also his girlfriend back in the 1940's. His girlfriend from back then was born the same day Hitler killed himself. It was a worthy sacrifice in this doctor's opinion. Yes that's right. This doctor is older 70's and he made sure that I knew that. YIKES. I sat up and made eye contact. He had an eye twitch so it looked like he was winking at me. AWKWARD!!!

I will never see that old ding-bat-on-call doctor ever ever ever again. Not ever.