Little Victories

I had a melt down while trying to get ready to go to the doctor. I tried every article of clothing on in my closet. NOTHING fits except for my stretchy pants, gym shorts, and tank tops. I cried. A lot. I am so glad that I have made it 2 weeks passed the gestation of when I delivered Jaden.

During my prenatal appointment, as my belly is being measured, Jaden says "Doctor, can my mom please be off bed rest now?" He agreed. Also, my baby is now measuring small. After an ultrasound, it's determined that baby is healthy. He is in the 30% for "average". He's taking after my size and my vagina will thank him for this. I'm relieved that he is healthy, just little. Bed rest no more!! Thanks Jaden.We celebrated by taking a trip to the mall and buying a cute grey/white striped maxi dress for the upcoming baby shower. Then Jason and I had a nice quiet lunch.

My house is getting super duper clean- by my approval. And it feels so good to scrub, vacuum, clean, cook, walk up and down the stairs. Oh how I love this feeling.

Upcoming Showerrrssssss?

Warning, Disclaimer, whatever else you want to call it: this blog is going to be a bitch blog.

My adopted mom & sisters have been planning such an amazing baby shower for us & mostly baby since January. (No, I'm not adopted. I was just born into the wrong family.) Invites went out. And all I am hearing is "Sorry... I can't come because....... <insert lame excuse here.> I am really so sad. I don't care about the gifts. I just want people to come celebrate with us especially with all the work that they have done to make it amazing for us. This baby was not supposed to be possible. I want to share our excitement with people! It's 2 hours, open house style, no games, and incredible food!
I haven't heard a single "See you Saturday" and that makes me really sad.

I have always been the friend to exhaust myself supporting my friends and events in their lives, shooting their lame weddings for free, hosting their parties, doing lots favors for them, attending everything that they invite me to..... and those same friends are loaded with excuses. You know what? I actually told people months ago the date and time. Sad. I think I need new friends.

I hope there aren't any showers at our baby shower..... <sigh>

There's one thing I'm learning.... excuses are like butt holes...everybody has one.

Blogging from the Bubbles

It's true. I'm blogging in my lavender oil infused bubble bath with the jets on. I've been desperate for relief that won't aggravate labor. And finally. I'm relaxing and will probably shrivel up.

I have been 1000% miserable since getting released to go home from the hospital as the sun came up this morning and Jaden came home from his weekend with dad promptly at 9am. Baby Ryker decided he wanted to party last night. We had to go to L&D. (I did get to listen to his gigantic hiccups for several hours. Adorable.) They were able to stop labor by giving me IV of Benadryl and the meds that I'm allergic to. It was the only option. Meds are not being continued at this point because of the severity of my reaction. I'm currently at a "good 3cm" since I was last checked, 70% effaced and baby is slightly lower than -1. And I also lost my mucus plug. Gross. Tmi? Probably.

Reality is setting in. I'm very nervous. Miserable. Im not ready to give birth yet! I want this delivery to be complication free and I want so much to have a well baby. I have myself quite freaked out with everything that could possibly go wrong (and did go wrong with past experience). People keep saying to be positive but I have no more positive left in me. I'm struggling. I cry, a lot actually. I am obeying those super strict bed rest for the sake of the best possible outcome. I can hardly walk as I need help to the bathroom. My legs are so weak and there's enormous pressure on my hips and cervix. And on weekends when I am by myself because Jason works & Jaden is gone-- I crawl. Totally sucks. I wish people who would help lived closer to me, even just for the weekend help or company.

Enough whining for tonight. I am so grateful I am in my home on bed rest and not confined to a hospital room. I am so blessed to have the skilled doctors that I do. I love Jason and everything he does for me and Jaden.

To my silent readers, take some time to yourself. Breathe. Relax. And shrivel up in a wonderful bubble bath.

Xoxo

That Awkward Moment....

...when you follow up with the "on-call" doctor because your regular doctor is unavailable.....

You prepare for an exam, change from the waist down, and drape the sheet to cover your va-jay-jay and thighs. Then you partially tuck it behind your butt to minimize the slight breeze you feel from the air vent. While you sit there and patiently wait, your butt becomes really sweaty while sticking to the paper on the patient table.

"Do you mind if the doctor has a couple medical students with him?" asks the nice British nurse. "Ummm, ok..." .................in come walking 5 students. Yes. FIVE. "I'm sorry. Actually, I do mind and I'm not comfortable." They leave. Whew! My vag is not a freak show or a peep show for any kind of medical student circus!

The doctor comes into the room and instructs you to move down toward the end of the table. "Ugh he has to be the one to examine me?" He's like OLD-MAN status. Not kidding. You re-adjust your body while taking the sweaty paper with you-which the dr removes....

Exam begins. "Do you know what happened on April 30th 19-FOURTY-something?" "No I sure don't." breathe..... breathe....ouch....breathe.... "Hitler committed suicide." "oh....okay?".... Then doctor went on and on and on about Hitler and also his girlfriend back in the 1940's. His girlfriend from back then was born the same day Hitler killed himself. It was a worthy sacrifice in this doctor's opinion. Yes that's right. This doctor is older 70's and he made sure that I knew that. YIKES. I sat up and made eye contact. He had an eye twitch so it looked like he was winking at me. AWKWARD!!!

I will never see that old ding-bat-on-call doctor ever ever ever again. Not ever.

No Time Sexy Time

I have felt like crap all day. I have been super sluggish, fire heartburn, achy, and cranky. It's a no-bra-wearing-kind of day. My nearly 5 year old son notices my RT through my shirt. (Lovely.) "MOM! Does that hurt!!?" as he's pointing to my boobs and quite obvious RT. Classy. So funny.

Maybe a shower would feel nice before I start dinner and lover leaves for a meeting. Lover gets in the shower so I tell my son (almost 5) I'm going to go get in the shower with him. "Eeeewwww! It's because you want to see his wiener! And he's going to see your va-jay-jay!!" *facepalm* Actually I feel like crap and I will feel better if I wash my hair. I join my lover in the shower and attempt a little impromptu sexy moment and my son starts banging on the door and I can hear him yelling "Weeeeener! Va-Jay-Jay!" as he's jumping on my bed. "Are you guys still naked?" "Why are you ignoring me?"  "Weeeeener! Va-Jay-Jay!" Ughhh. Kids complicate those sexy time moments. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's not. I lock my bedroom door with said obnoxious child out of the room.... and continue (or try to)... my son again banging on the door "Why is there music on?" <to drown you out child!> "Are you done yet?" "Are you looking at his wiener?" <you have no idea!!> OMG. UBER annoyed now. I'll go eat some chocolate and take a bath and somehow pull myself up out of the tub. LOVE being a pregnant mom sometimes. Ha ha

 No time for sexy time.

Craving Smells....

It's one thing to crave food while preggo. Have you ever craved a smell? So much that you just cannot say no? I did today. While having a targasm, (retail therapy in no-where else but Target) I had to buy a giant bottle of baby lotion. It's the most magical smell in the whole wide world. I don't know what was in the air, but I was craving to smell this. I'm really good about separating my needs and wants most of the time. I had to have it and couldn't resist.  Not just any baby lotion, but it's this one:

This smell just makes me so excited to have this baby! I know, I'm only half way there....but it just builds up my anticipation. There are no awful memories. I just can't wait. :)

But the whole reason I went to Target was to get this:

I use baby oil routinely for my hair extensions. It came the time to take out the glued in hair to replace it with new shiny silky hair... and I use this to get out the extra glue and sticky residue without drying out my hair and ripping out half my scalp. OMG-- I keep craving baby smells. I love it. And this one, I kindof bathed in it. Literally. My skin has been so so dry and I've tried bio oil amoung ridiculous amounts of lotion and this magic baby oil seemed to do the trick. I don't feel like an oily pig. OMG I love baby smells (the good ones!! Not the poop ones. Eeeewww). Go bathe in some Johnson's baby goodness! Do it. You'll love it.

In all that's rudely embarrassing....and true...

Picture this......
Air dried wavy afro-like extensions (I love having extensions), hot pink pullover Billabong hoody which doesn't cover my expanding belly at all, a green t-shirt hanging out the bottom, aqua blue and gray sweats, pink socks and black fuzzy slippers.

Plead: Guilty.

I wore the above confession to a grocery store. I should be on the fashion FINED list. Those who know me, know that I would never go out in public looking like that--not even over my own (or another) dead body! However, a sinus/chest cold has possessed me and my lack of consideration and desire to dress for the human world.

The following morning, I was looking quite ragged and homeless. I spent some time primping and giving myself a slight makeover. Now having purdy straight silky hair and makeup... I attempted to put on a t-shirt real quick before going to the chiro....to my surprise, the t-shirt which I wore for a minute the day before....would not stretch over my overnight-expanding belly!

I wore an extra-long tank top instead. :) Following the chiro, my sweet lover drove me straight to Motherhood Maternity and purchased some cute maternity clothes!  We made a rule. If he didn't love it, I couldn't buy it!

As I was telling my cousin this story, she found it quite hilarious. Her sweet fiance says "She doesn't strike me as the white trash type." To which she responded, "She's not!..." LOL

Why is this a big deal? Well, you see before this pregnancy I was confident in my weight and size... and buying clothes that I won't wear again for 5+ years was not on my priority list. Not only that.... I was still comfortable in my normal clothes. Well, it was time to make the transition at 19 weeks pregnant- woot! (I'm happy I made it nearly half way!). My mother-in-law is so so happy that I'm dressing like an expecting mother. In her words "It's about time!"

Much better. :) No trucker tummy! lol