You prepare for an exam, change from the waist down, and drape the sheet to cover your va-jay-jay and thighs. Then you partially tuck it behind your butt to minimize the slight breeze you feel from the air vent. While you sit there and patiently wait, your butt becomes really sweaty while sticking to the paper on the patient table.
"Do you mind if the doctor has a couple medical students with him?" asks the nice British nurse. "Ummm, ok..." .................in come walking 5 students. Yes. FIVE. "I'm sorry. Actually, I do mind and I'm not comfortable." They leave. Whew! My vag is not a freak show or a peep show for any kind of medical student circus!
The doctor comes into the room and instructs you to move down toward the end of the table. "Ugh he has to be the one to examine me?" He's like OLD-MAN status. Not kidding. You re-adjust your body while taking the sweaty paper with you-which the dr removes....
Exam begins. "Do you know what happened on April 30th 19-FOURTY-something?" "No I sure don't." breathe..... breathe....ouch....breathe.... "Hitler committed suicide." "oh....okay?".... Then doctor went on and on and on about Hitler and also his girlfriend back in the 1940's. His girlfriend from back then was born the same day Hitler killed himself. It was a worthy sacrifice in this doctor's opinion. Yes that's right. This doctor is older 70's and he made sure that I knew that. YIKES. I sat up and made eye contact. He had an eye twitch so it looked like he was winking at me. AWKWARD!!!
I will never see that old ding-bat-on-call doctor ever ever ever again. Not ever.
Best story ever!!!!
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