What IS enough?

So much attention has surrounded the new baby on the way. Jaden has had awful naughty moments acting out. It's frustrating. With his 5th birthday around the corner, I want to show him some extra attention and make him feel special on his birthday. 5. Where have these 5 years gone? I remember a specific moment when I got Jaden home from the hospital. I sat rocking him and adoring my new little baby...."They say they grow so fast.... I have forever before he's 5 and going to kindergarten. What do they know?..."....and then I blinked.... Time flies.

Jaden's 5th birthday party is today! He told me all he wanted for his birthday was friends, cupcakes, and a bouncy house. I can manage that! So I thought. While  trying to make a desperate attempt while on bedrest has been really tricky. I set up a facebook event last week. Jason did the party shopping, birthday shopping, and extra little things shopping. I realize late last night, the facebook invites didn't send to anyone for whatever stupid reason, the weather is crappy, cute little invites were not made or delivered ....Fail.

My kitchen is a mess. My house is falling apart and dirty. I can't scrub the bathrooms or floors. Laundry is piling up. I can't really cook meals. My crockpot needs scrubbed because I ran out of liners. There's not a damn thing I can do about it. My "family" lives over an hour away so I can't beg them to come help me. Jason's family...well, don't get me started. I'm also not the type to ask for help either. It's Jason's finals week and also has his huge FAA Commercial Pilot exam. I'm sleep deprived. My tailbone, back, and hips feel so bruised and there's no relief- sitting hurts, laying hurts, walking hurts, heartburn is so bad I throw up if I lay down too soon. Ugh. I've cried almost daily this week. 
My stress and anxiety is sky high. {sigh}