Blogging from the Bubbles

It's true. I'm blogging in my lavender oil infused bubble bath with the jets on. I've been desperate for relief that won't aggravate labor. And finally. I'm relaxing and will probably shrivel up.

I have been 1000% miserable since getting released to go home from the hospital as the sun came up this morning and Jaden came home from his weekend with dad promptly at 9am. Baby Ryker decided he wanted to party last night. We had to go to L&D. (I did get to listen to his gigantic hiccups for several hours. Adorable.) They were able to stop labor by giving me IV of Benadryl and the meds that I'm allergic to. It was the only option. Meds are not being continued at this point because of the severity of my reaction. I'm currently at a "good 3cm" since I was last checked, 70% effaced and baby is slightly lower than -1. And I also lost my mucus plug. Gross. Tmi? Probably.

Reality is setting in. I'm very nervous. Miserable. Im not ready to give birth yet! I want this delivery to be complication free and I want so much to have a well baby. I have myself quite freaked out with everything that could possibly go wrong (and did go wrong with past experience). People keep saying to be positive but I have no more positive left in me. I'm struggling. I cry, a lot actually. I am obeying those super strict bed rest for the sake of the best possible outcome. I can hardly walk as I need help to the bathroom. My legs are so weak and there's enormous pressure on my hips and cervix. And on weekends when I am by myself because Jason works & Jaden is gone-- I crawl. Totally sucks. I wish people who would help lived closer to me, even just for the weekend help or company.

Enough whining for tonight. I am so grateful I am in my home on bed rest and not confined to a hospital room. I am so blessed to have the skilled doctors that I do. I love Jason and everything he does for me and Jaden.

To my silent readers, take some time to yourself. Breathe. Relax. And shrivel up in a wonderful bubble bath.

Xoxo