Little Victories

I had a melt down while trying to get ready to go to the doctor. I tried every article of clothing on in my closet. NOTHING fits except for my stretchy pants, gym shorts, and tank tops. I cried. A lot. I am so glad that I have made it 2 weeks passed the gestation of when I delivered Jaden.

During my prenatal appointment, as my belly is being measured, Jaden says "Doctor, can my mom please be off bed rest now?" He agreed. Also, my baby is now measuring small. After an ultrasound, it's determined that baby is healthy. He is in the 30% for "average". He's taking after my size and my vagina will thank him for this. I'm relieved that he is healthy, just little. Bed rest no more!! Thanks Jaden.We celebrated by taking a trip to the mall and buying a cute grey/white striped maxi dress for the upcoming baby shower. Then Jason and I had a nice quiet lunch.

My house is getting super duper clean- by my approval. And it feels so good to scrub, vacuum, clean, cook, walk up and down the stairs. Oh how I love this feeling.

Looking Back

The hardest decisions are often the best ones to make.

Today I reflected back a few years when I noticed the date. 18th. April 18th, 2010 I left my now ex-husband. It was the hardest decision and also the best decision I had ever made. It was the most important decision I had to make up to that point. Looking back, not a single fiber of my soul regrets that decision.

I appreciate even the little things my love does for me. Being a single mommy, I never got a break. I worked 40+ hours while little man was in daycare. I'd be off work just in time to make dinner and start the bedtime routine and repeat it all over again. In addition, doing all the laundry, cleaning, cooking, lunch packing, grocery shopping, etc-- it was hard. I hated it! On the rare occasion, ex husband decided to actually pick his son up... then I had time for me.

Through the challenges of being a single mommy, I learned to depend on only myself. I learned and developed patience. I learned dating is SO important in discovering the qualities I want in someone to share my life with. My bonus mom would tell me almost daily "I know it's hard right now, but in a year from today, your life will be a thousand times happier than this very moment and you will smile more." And for the record, she was right! I am so blessed to have her encouraging me through some of the hardest times.

With a full schedule, I did somehow manage to squeeze in a date or two. I also tried online dating. That's how Jason and I met. I'll admit it. I met some FREAKS but met some cool people too. I also used my best judgement during messages and conversations. I actually had talked to Jason for 2-3 weeks before I agreed to have lunch with him. :) Now, we have been together a whole year. Wow, I'm really rambling now. My benadryl has got to be kicking in now. lol

I will say it again, the hardest decisions are often the best ones. Let go. Grow. Life your life. Dream big! I promise you, in a year from this very moment, you will smile more and you'll be happier.