No Time Sexy Time

I have felt like crap all day. I have been super sluggish, fire heartburn, achy, and cranky. It's a no-bra-wearing-kind of day. My nearly 5 year old son notices my RT through my shirt. (Lovely.) "MOM! Does that hurt!!?" as he's pointing to my boobs and quite obvious RT. Classy. So funny.

Maybe a shower would feel nice before I start dinner and lover leaves for a meeting. Lover gets in the shower so I tell my son (almost 5) I'm going to go get in the shower with him. "Eeeewwww! It's because you want to see his wiener! And he's going to see your va-jay-jay!!" *facepalm* Actually I feel like crap and I will feel better if I wash my hair. I join my lover in the shower and attempt a little impromptu sexy moment and my son starts banging on the door and I can hear him yelling "Weeeeener! Va-Jay-Jay!" as he's jumping on my bed. "Are you guys still naked?" "Why are you ignoring me?"  "Weeeeener! Va-Jay-Jay!" Ughhh. Kids complicate those sexy time moments. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's not. I lock my bedroom door with said obnoxious child out of the room.... and continue (or try to)... my son again banging on the door "Why is there music on?" <to drown you out child!> "Are you done yet?" "Are you looking at his wiener?" <you have no idea!!> OMG. UBER annoyed now. I'll go eat some chocolate and take a bath and somehow pull myself up out of the tub. LOVE being a pregnant mom sometimes. Ha ha

 No time for sexy time.

Baby Name Hijacker

From the day that baby-daddy and I started talking about baby names....boy names and girl names, we agreed to keep the baby name a secret until the birth. By doing this, we thought we would skip out on judgements, un-asked-for opinions and suggestions, and baby name hijacking.
It's a boy! Ryker is the name we picked and the only name we had agreed on the day we found out the sex which was the beginning of December. We bought the cute name letters, paint, fabric, and I was going to work on crafty things for our baby (actually the baby's room). I painted and mounted the letters...R-Y-K-E-R. I love it (even if you don't, it's ok). A couple months later, I was texting a friend of mine. She told me she was naming her baby Evan or Parker. (I thought I was safe to tell her our cool name.) I caved and told her we were naming our baby Ryker. Bad idea! Well, she went into labor a couple months early and sent me a picture of her new baby...and our name was hijacked!! I said to her "Funny we have the same name picked for our baby. His name is already hanging on my wall so Im not changing it. Lol Congrats." I was so so sooooo mad. Isn't this in the pregnancy rules? Okay, so I don't 'own' the name but it was clearly stolen! {pout} I was sad because I wanted it to be unique and ours. But I am glad it was cool enough to steal.


 

Distance Makes the Heart Wiser

I have a friend. She moved. I moved. And sometimes life changes. You aren't as close to people as you used to be. You give new friends a chance and you learn that sometimes new friends are pretty bad ass. After removing myself (not on purpose) from situations, I learned that for such a long time, I have been manipulated, played, used, etc by someone who was very close to me. The upmost compassion I showed toward someone and whom I thought was a great friend, well I was the fool it turns out. And through out a circle of events I have learned that our friendship was only a game to her.

"Best Friends are very special people in your life. They are the first people you think about when you make plans. They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. When you’re sad they will try their hardest to cheer you up. They give the best hugs in the world! They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. In most cases they would take a bullet for you, coz it would be too painful to watch you get hurt."- Urban Dictionary

After waking up to a dose of reality, this person whom I once called my best friend is quite the opposite. I feel like I'm mourning such a loss. I feel as though my heart has sank a thousand notches this week. So what happened? Well a lot of things. After taking some time to myself and think through situations I have learned that she robbed and took advantage of every ounce of compassion. Few weeks ago, she wanted me (and my pregnant ass) to come visit. I told her I cannot make this trip happen for a few reasons. 1) Because of my first pregnancy, road trips have to be approved by my doctor. 2) There's not a hospital on the way just in case something were to go wrong. 3) 4-5 hour drive would quickly turn into several hours with how many potty stops I'd have to make 4) I refuse to manipulate my lover to driving me 5+ hours and then picking me up the following day... etc etc. I sadly told her I cannot make this trip happen. Life really changes circumstances sometimes but I have to put myself, my health, and my baby as my priority. She was pissed and I received some very hurtful and manipulating messages. I decided taking some time would be a good idea. A week goes by and I received a message "I wish we were the friends we used to be." Is she just now realizing this? I was missing this void 9+months ago! Another week goes by.... another message received on my phone randomly analyzing life (there was no hi, how are you)... and then followed by an order. Yes, this message read "I want you to and you will do so." Excuse me? I'm not anyone's bitch. I'm not in the cast of mean girls and I will not be ordered around. I'm mourning a loss.... mourning a friend... feeling sad and alone... and pregnant. I don't like feeling like an option. I have less patience for bullshit. Little things pile up quicker. But it's taught me that I deserve better. I know I do.

So today, I have realized that when you remove yourself from situations and from certain people, you find out where you stand. Sometimes, it's a very sad reality. Sometimes it's a bitch slap. Overall, it's a reminder of who really matters. If you want to fly, you have to let go of the shit.

Craving Smells....

It's one thing to crave food while preggo. Have you ever craved a smell? So much that you just cannot say no? I did today. While having a targasm, (retail therapy in no-where else but Target) I had to buy a giant bottle of baby lotion. It's the most magical smell in the whole wide world. I don't know what was in the air, but I was craving to smell this. I'm really good about separating my needs and wants most of the time. I had to have it and couldn't resist.  Not just any baby lotion, but it's this one:

This smell just makes me so excited to have this baby! I know, I'm only half way there....but it just builds up my anticipation. There are no awful memories. I just can't wait. :)

But the whole reason I went to Target was to get this:

I use baby oil routinely for my hair extensions. It came the time to take out the glued in hair to replace it with new shiny silky hair... and I use this to get out the extra glue and sticky residue without drying out my hair and ripping out half my scalp. OMG-- I keep craving baby smells. I love it. And this one, I kindof bathed in it. Literally. My skin has been so so dry and I've tried bio oil amoung ridiculous amounts of lotion and this magic baby oil seemed to do the trick. I don't feel like an oily pig. OMG I love baby smells (the good ones!! Not the poop ones. Eeeewww). Go bathe in some Johnson's baby goodness! Do it. You'll love it.

In all that's rudely embarrassing....and true...

Picture this......
Air dried wavy afro-like extensions (I love having extensions), hot pink pullover Billabong hoody which doesn't cover my expanding belly at all, a green t-shirt hanging out the bottom, aqua blue and gray sweats, pink socks and black fuzzy slippers.

Plead: Guilty.

I wore the above confession to a grocery store. I should be on the fashion FINED list. Those who know me, know that I would never go out in public looking like that--not even over my own (or another) dead body! However, a sinus/chest cold has possessed me and my lack of consideration and desire to dress for the human world.

The following morning, I was looking quite ragged and homeless. I spent some time primping and giving myself a slight makeover. Now having purdy straight silky hair and makeup... I attempted to put on a t-shirt real quick before going to the chiro....to my surprise, the t-shirt which I wore for a minute the day before....would not stretch over my overnight-expanding belly!

I wore an extra-long tank top instead. :) Following the chiro, my sweet lover drove me straight to Motherhood Maternity and purchased some cute maternity clothes!  We made a rule. If he didn't love it, I couldn't buy it!

As I was telling my cousin this story, she found it quite hilarious. Her sweet fiance says "She doesn't strike me as the white trash type." To which she responded, "She's not!..." LOL

Why is this a big deal? Well, you see before this pregnancy I was confident in my weight and size... and buying clothes that I won't wear again for 5+ years was not on my priority list. Not only that.... I was still comfortable in my normal clothes. Well, it was time to make the transition at 19 weeks pregnant- woot! (I'm happy I made it nearly half way!). My mother-in-law is so so happy that I'm dressing like an expecting mother. In her words "It's about time!"

Much better. :) No trucker tummy! lol

Hello World!

After some time (or years) of being "busy"... with a life in the fast lane, I decided now that I'm home with my kiddo and baking another in my personal, crafty, handy-dandy uterus, I'm back in the blogging world. I've been saying I would come back for a while, but now I have made it happen. :)

Hello World.